I dunno why I feel like this...but I feel the colors I associate with America are very different from those I associate with India(What a random topic u think :P...yea its been a looong time since I wrote ppl so randomness is bound to be a part of the next few postings at least ;) )
Nyways getting back to my point...lemme tell u what I am about to ramble on about....to me America represents colors like grey, white ,black...orderly, determined, planned.









On the other hand I really do associate India with a riot of colours. Yellow, brown, reds, purples, greens, goldens, silver, white too (but very different from the whites of America).... huh !! u say...how the heck can white be a different color in 2 places u say...has this gal lost her senses(or what is left of it anyways :D)

Lemme tell u how :) ...(alright alright down yawn already :P...If nothing else I promise to at least put in pretty pictures along with the words... :))) )

Lets start with yellow...yellow to me represents manjal or haldi (turmeric)...I always used to see ammai cook with it.... used to be an essential ingredient of most of the sabzis....conjures up images of me running into the kitchen, while she used to cook and pestering her ki whats for lunch,dinner etc.

Then there is brown....hmmm now brown reminds me of multiple things...it reminds me of mother earth back in India (not like there isint brown earth here :P ...but I'm sure u understand what I mean :D... I kinda associate a maternal feeling to India ) .... its the brown of an earthen clay water cooler thingi (though that might not be strictly brown)...brown as the chepanganzhu that my mom uses in sambhars (I dunno why...but somehow u see lotsa memories of mine are associated with food :P...hmmmmm) .
















And then there is purple....how purple...its the border of one of my moms Kanjeevaram sarees. Now believe me ppl 'm against the whole silk thing as much as the next person...But I dunno why...thts the first and very strong vivid image that comes to mind...











Now that brings us to red.....red is the color of "maang ka sindoor" (I went Bollywood-ish here I knw :D.... U knw tht dialouge the hero asks in surprise... "maaaaa...yeh tumhari maang main sindoor " ;) ) .... Red is the colour of Chrysanthemums that used to grow in our garden..... its the color of mirchi powder which we used to put in sabzis (There I go with the food thingi again :P...seriouslyy I miss moms cooking :) )....


Then there is silver...how silver...the oxidized bangles which are in...thats how :D (yea 'm a lover of 'em too :D)







Hmmmm golden...now this may sound silly...but it is for those warm
Indian mornings... (and for me the sights and the sounds thingi is closely related :) ).... for the smell of pipping hot idliis, for the sound of 'Vishnu sahasranamam' , and my my personal fav..... the sound of the cans of milk against the doodhwalas cycle.



White...hows white different....hmmm white is for the maligaipoov (jasmine flowers)


in moms hair during festivals (again I like the fragrance)...white is for thair sadham (curd rice) with oorgais(pickles)....

psst: ermmm the tam bram in me reared its head quite a bit in this post
and ...*ouch*...thats nostalgia hitting me...and it sure does knock a punch ;)

SU

Hmmm now tht 'm in the US (did I see a halo...and ahhhh angel mujic in the bckground u say ;)...)....gettin back....well lets look at this place objectively(how can u do tht u say...u stay there...*sigh*....well its pretty much my blog ppl....I can do nythin I want :P)....well I dont really stay in NY(although I stay in NY state...funny how those two are like light years apart :D)...I stay in snowy, cold Syracuse...which when compared to mumbai is welll...hmmmm...mumbaikars stayin here can emphathize ;)...and the amount of freedom u get here is def loadsss more (apart from my classes and the on campus jobs I pretty much wonder wht to do...I guess 'm not makin productive use of time here.....must get to it*digging 'round for books*...ermm no wait 'm writin this blog now :D)...thts how it is with me here...'m like sooooo confused by the multitude of tasks I gotta do....prioritizing kinda becomes diff....but guess i'll learn...kinda lonely...definitely for a person who hasnt been away from home...miss my family and friends :)...luv u all :)).....nyways commin back to all the wunnerful ppl @ SU who've helped me out like a trillion times and been sweethearts :)... *bows* thnks guys :)))..... (yeah I knw I use a lohtttt of smileys :D.....)...I hv to cook....once a week....thnks to my roomies who actually eat it (hmmmm wait on second thoughts I dont thnk 'm all tht bad ;) ).....luvvv th shopping in this place (biiiggg irony...am working to pay my bills here...so hahahah wht shoppin do u say :P).....luv the way they hv like open discussns in class...thnk tht its a good educatn system....dont realllyy like wearin multiple layered clothing...but hv to(in case like a friend says...u see a 5ft 5inch snowman....no snowoman sumwhere on the streets of SYr while goin to the Univ....u knw who forgot to wear her 2 jackets and gloves tht day ;))
nyways cheers to all ya lvly ppl out there :)

Writing.......writing....writing....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......wazzat 'bout higher studies and writing again :P ?

What is this Quarter life crisis that seems to be hitting all of us with a vengence(alrht alrght 20 to 29 sumthings but u see here ppl most of the friends I hv belong to tht particular age group :P...ermm on 2nd thought make tht all the friends I hv ;) )...nyways gettin back to the point : The Big QLC...well lets take my example:

Up2 last yr I was totally unsure 'bout what I wanted to do nxt like do an MBA or an MS and now tht I made my decision 'm not completely sure wether its the right choice or not :D

Then there is that question of settling down u knw .... I still feel I need a coupla years more....dunno what I want from life exactly(Did I see an eye roll again there ppl ;)??)



....sumtimes I just feel like I should pick up a backpack and be off....touring India(would hv said the world here but seems a wee bit too ambitious then :D)



And well I've seen quite a few of my friends and cousins going through all the same questions and issues that I seem to be facing.....Not satisfied in terms of their jobs, not understanding where they wanna go in life....just drifting along.....I feel our parents gen had a less complicated lifestyle.... Maybe their freedom was not as much in terms of choices that they could make..but the complications were definitely lessened to a gr8 extent... Whaddya feel ppl :) ??



(P.S: I'm proud to be a parta this confused but cool gen of ours ;) ..... Rock on peeps :))) )

The Mood: Pensieve, thoughtful ,kinda bordering on eccentric some of the many many many moods of our protagonist here)
Our protagonist suddenly decides tht she wants to go to the US…does tht make ay sense???…..who decides such things in a span of a day(ookies ookies exaggerating here…maybe a coupla days :D)….'f course there are tons and tons of things to be done….xams to be given,finance to be thought 'bout,visa to be given by whomsever concerned….but does our protogonist thnk of all this….noooooooooooooooo…..
(and in case ur wondering ppl the protogonist here is me :P…..and no comments like: "Is she ever thoughtfull….I havent seen her thinkin ever" :P….I can be thoughtful when mood seizes me thnk u :D...)
*Note to readers: the above thoughtfulness phenomenon occurs rarely… :))
How does the feeling of leavin maybe a warm blanket on a cold night feel…. Or maybe givin up ur most favourite food…..Kinda makes u just not wanna do it rght….even the mere thought of it …
I guess I can compare my goin to the US to study to sumthin akin to these feelings…..Giving up a nice warm home and the company of loving family and friends….+(all those li'll nataks we are soooo used to, Stuff like : "No mom 'm not gonna eat this…I don’t like it" or "Chal na yaar….weekend pe bahar jaate hain (or shopping whichever applicable here)")….
I just hope 'm able to manage studying+working+cooking…..
Watch this space for more updates then :D


And here is a Quote from the Wonder years which I found was really true : When you're a little kid you're a bit of everything; Scientist, Philosopher, Artist. Sometimes it seems like growing up is giving these things up one at a time. :)

How do you put into words ,emotions which you can not even feel properly ?

How do you explain to someone that they are so nice that when you hurt them , even though you didnt mean to hurt them ,not even a little bit, that the pain that you feel is really deep?

How do you make them realise that what you are feeling really really sorry for anything that you ever did to that hurt them...for anytime that you ever made them feel sad, for anytime that you ever caused even a single tear to run down their cheek....

that they are so important as a friend, that someone who is usually loqacious and blunt with words, is having a difficult time putting anything at all into words .

Maybe some things can never be explained, never be conveyed in words......

....all I can do is bow my head down and ask for forgiveness.......tell how sorry I am...

Promise that whatever happens you will always be there for them......

come sun, hail, rain, geographical bariers.......

and that tomorrow when it will dawn will be a happy one for all concerned :)) .......

(Dedicated to ECK :) )

Been quite sometime since I posted...I guess professional life does tht to ya (there I go again...professional life...pffffftttt :P....guess 'm just god darn lazyy :D...)

Nyways here goes....would appreciate opinions y'all:


Where do u go girl,
In search of happiness,
the farther that u travel,
I'm afraid u'll only find less.

Do you wanna be a rockstar,
or will u a model be,
or do you wanna be an archeologist,
excavating some city.

Happiness doesnt come gurl,
from being wealthy,
You can even find happiness,
while reading a book under a tree. :)